Memorial Service

Betsey (Elizabeth) Scharlack
Memorial Service, January 9, 2015, Levine Chapel
Led by Rabbi Devon Lerner

The author of Ecclesiastes said that: “The eye never has its fill of seeing.” Young or old, those who depart this life never see enough of the world, never complete all they wanted to do, never have enough time to love and be loved by their family and friends, before their end has come.  Those who knew Betsey well, yearn for her to be with them for yet another challenge, yet another joy, yet another precious moment. Whenever parting comes, it comes too soon.

Betsy left so quickly, so suddenly, that it is hard to believe that she is gone. Your grief is deep; your days of mourning have just begun.  Yet the intensity of your grief is but a reflection of the depth of your love for her.  Lean on one other for support and solace.  Recount the days and stories of your togetherness. Over time, your memories will become a blessing, giving you strength and courage in times of challenge, comfort it times of sorrow, delight in times of rejoicing. Then Betsey will continue to live in you and through you.

In such difficult times as this, many of us find some comfort in the words of the 23rd Psalm.

Psalm 23

God is my shepherd I shall not want.
God makes me lie down in green pastures,
Leads me beside still waters, and restores my soul.

God leads me in right paths for the sake of the Divine name.
Even when I walk in the valley of the shadow of death
I shall fear no evil, for You are with me:
Your rod and Your staff- they comfort me.

You have set a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I shall dwell in the house of God forever.

Ecclesiastes 3

For everything there is a season, a time for every experience under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plan and a time to uproot what is planted;
A time to tear down and a time to build up;
A time to weep and a time to laugh
A Time to grieve and a time to dance’
A time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek and a time to lose,
A time to keep and a time to discard;
A time to tear and a time to sew,
A time to keep silent and a time to speak…

 

This is the time to speak, to celebrate Betsey’s life. Several of Betsey’s family members and friends will say a few words about Betsey and the impact she had on their lives.

Speakers:

  1. June Gardner (cousin)
  2. Sue Dadd (friend and MFA link)
  3. Subheen Razzaqui (friend from Newton North HS)
  4. Cynthia Hecker (close friend from Wellesley and beyond)
  5. Dan Scharlack (son)
  6. Sharon Livesey (best friend)
    Sharon was scheduled to speak first, but she arrived late because of bad weather. Music was played here to give some space between Dan’s beautiful tribute to his mother, and to give Sharon a chance to get settled before speaking.
  7. Ron Scharlack (husband)

 

Rabbi Devon Lerner:

Betsey achieved success.  She lived well, laughed often and loved much; she gained the respect of others, she filled her niche and accomplished her task; she left the world better than she found it, by creating beautiful gardens, enlightening and encouraging countless students with her talent for teaching, by loving her friends and family, by being a loyal friend, by looking for the best in others and by giving the best she had to give, by rejoicing in the beauty of the world around her, and so much more.  Her life was an inspiration; her memory will always be a blessing.

Author unknown.  Adapted

A Poem by Hannah Senesh

There are stars up above,
So far away we only see their light
Long, long after the star itself is gone.

And so it is with people that we loved –
Their memories keep shining every brightly
Though their time with us is done.
But the stars that light up the darkest night,
These are the lights that guide us.

As we live our days,
These are the ways we remember.

Responsive Reading

In the rising of the sun and in its going down
We will remember her.
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
We will remember her.
In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring,
We will remember her.
In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn,
We will remember her.
In the beginning of the year and when it ends,
We will remember her.
When we are weary and in need of strength,
We will remember her.
When we have joys we yearn to share,
We will remember her.
So long as we live, she too shall live,
For she is now a part of us,
As we remember her.

This concludes our service here at the Chapel.

The pallbearers are invited to take their places.

 

Graveside

For Betsey’s love that united us in life and which death cannot sever; for her companionship which was shared along life’s path, and which still continues through the tenderness of memory; for the gifts of her heart and mind which brought us joy and happiness and now have become a precious heritage of the spirit; for all these and more, we give thanks.

May those who mourn Betsey’s passing find comfort in the hope that, though the dust returns to the earth as it was, her spirit lives on.  Death is not an end. Those we love pass through the gateway of the grave into the peace of life eternal. We know that all of us must follow the same path, though we know not when the hour may come. Let us so live that the coming of that hour shall find us unafraid. We honor Betsey’s life best by the way we live our own lives.

KADDISH

Kaddish, called the mourner’s prayer.  It is recited at the death of a loved one, yet it doesn’t mention one work about death.  It is an affirmation of life.

Placing flowers and shoveling dirt into the grave.
The family and all those present are invited to place a flower in the grave, and to shovel some dirt in it as well.  This is a loving act to accompany Betsey to her final resting place.

Rabbi Lerner:

Go your way in peace.
Knowing that you lived a good life.
You loved and were well loved.
You left this world better than you found it.

As we leave in peace to go forth to life, I ask you to please form two lines facing each other, creating a walkway, so the mourners can pass between you and feel your love and support.